The Gamer's "Do Before Death, Marriage Or Kids" List

 

1. Go online with a shooter and get your ass handed to you
2. Practice until you see that shooter every time you close your eyes
3. Vindicate yourself. Gloat
4. Sell your old gaming gear, thinking you’ll never want to play old games anymore
5. Buy it back, years later
6. Use a class project as a platform to talk to a captive audience about video games
7. Save a hapless parent from making a tragic video-gaming error at a store
8. Get good enough at an arcade game to attract a crowd of people
9. Play for an hour on a single quarter
10. Beat the music game of your choice on the highest difficulty setting
11.Fall in love with a game that nobody likes, defend it to your grave
12. Do well enough in an online game that the host boots you
13. Play a Fatal Frame game in the dark, alone
14. Zerg rush
15. Buy a game during a midnight-launch event
16. Buy a game on impulse, without knowing anything about it beforehand
17. Read a strategy guide, and feel sorry for those poor saps who have to write them
18. Play The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past and Ocarina of Time back to back and appreciate how games made the leap into 3D worlds
19. Find a great gaming deal at a yard sale
20. Play a game that you loved as a kid now that you're older and wiser
21. Try to get an original cartridge game to work on original hardware
22. Have a friend save over one of your files
23. Misplace the CD key on an old PC game
24. Play a game in a genre you don’t ordinarily enjoy
25. Breed a Gold Chocobo in Final Fantasy VII
26. Play the original Tomb Raider – breast physics don’t necessarily make a better game
27. Beat Yazmat in Final Fantasy XII
28. Make a “Your Mom” joke on XBL
29. Cry during a cutscene
30. Scream during a cutscene
31. Curse during a cutscene
32. Ignore your bladder during a cutscene
33. Ignore your stomach during a cutscene
34. Ignore a phone call during a cutscene
35. Get into a fight with your significant other about ignoring your phone during a cutscene
36. Play a fitness game
37. Memorize a pop song from an OST in a foreign language
38. Regret purchasing a game
39. Defend purchasing a game
40. Say “I lol’ed” in a conversation
41. Spend over $150 on a rare game
42. Spend over $100 on a special-edition game
43. Pwn a game retailer with your extensive game knowledge
44. Watch someone get hurt in real life and say “Pwned” out loud
45. Try the Konami code first hand
46. Watch Samus’ great unveiling
47. Write a letter to the editor at a gaming magazine
48. Google search
49. Call in sick the day after a game launch
50. Put in a work week of gaming while on vacation
51. Play over 100 hours in a single game
52. Yell voice commands at your DS while on public transportation
53. Get 100% completion on a game
54. Play a game from start to finish in one sitting
55. Carry a non skilled teammate through co-op for the sake of friendship
56. Use a video-game tune for your ringer
57. Host a successful LAN party
58. Dress up as a video-game character for Halloween
59. Force your kids to wear video-game costumes
60. Name a pet (or all of them) after a video-game character
61. Incorporate some video-game element into your wedding
62. Own more than one of the same console
63. Borrow a game from someone and never return it
64. Lend a game to someone never expecting to see it again
65. Consult a game FAQ in secret and lie about it
66. Drink a twelve pack (of what is up to you) in one sitting while playing a game
67. Yell at someone for standing in front of your screen, then blame them for dying
68. Fall asleep while playing a game
69. Play GoldenEye 007 with only slappers, throwing knives or as Oddjob
70. Dedicate a good month of your life to playing Call of Duty 4. Start with single player, then kiss the rest of the month goodbye in multiplayer
71. Play Crackdown co-op
72. Break a million points in Geometry wars: Evolved
73. Play tennis in Wii Sports
74. Play Final Fantasy VII up to the point where Aerith dies. Of course, once you see that, you’ll finish the game
75. Go outside for a little while. In real life
76. Play Pong. Seriously. It has to be done.
77. Battle Psycho Mantis in Metal Gear Solid
78. Screw a friend out of a Mario Kart victory by nailing him or her with a red shell at the finish line. Any Mario Kart applies. It’s equally as painful in each version
79. Experience the joys of the sticky grenade and energy sword in either Halo 2 or 3 multiplayer
80. Rob someone blind in the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
81. Perform a fatality in a Mortal Kombat that doesn't contain the number four or higher
82. Ascend a tower and leap into the hay in Assassin’s Creed
83. Play four-player co-op through Marvel Ultimate Alliance
84. Fill the streets with debris in Crash mode in Burnout Revenge
85. Play and complete Grand Theft Auto Vice City or Grand Theft Auto San Andreas
86. Use the shotgun in Doom
87. Play and finish God of War
88. Deke the goalie and score pretty in NHL 08
89. Complete the clothing-store level in Condemned. You won’t look at mannequins the same way again.
90. Converse with Para-Medic in Metal Gear Solid 3 about eating random stuff
91. Play and complete Super Mario Bros.
92. Play and complete Super Mario Galaxy
93. Soak up the atmosphere of Rapture, meet Andrew Ryan, and save the little sisters. The bad ending sucks
94. Make your eyes glaze over while playing tetris
95. Meet HK-47 in KOTOR
96. Play Rock Band with four friends
97. Play and finish Super Metroid
98. Launch a nuke in StarCraft
99. Conquer mankind in Civilization
100. Master the art of grappling hook swinging in Bionic Commando for NES
101. Hit a population of 100,000 in any SimCity game
102. String together a million point combo in Tony Hawk 3
103. Hit a hole in one in either Hot Shots Golf Fore! Or Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08
104. Play and complete mega man 2
105. Become a Pokemon collector in any of the Pokemon titles
106. Master the art of fighting in Street Fighter II Turbo
107. Play and complete Final Fantasy X and tell your friends that you didn’t cry during the ending
108. Complete Final Fantasy III on SNES
109. Play Psychonauts (seriously, do it)
110. Learn how to properly execute a rocket jump in Quake or Team Fortress
111. Beat Thrasher: Skate and Destroy on PS1 on the hard setting
112. Beat Duke Nukem 3D; don’t forget to use the boot.
113. Create a Command and Conquer base using wall made totally of Mammoth Tanks
114. Try Virtual Boy (Nintendo's dark secret)
115. Try Peggle and gain new respect for casual gaming
116. Go your entire gaming life without ever using a Gamertag that involves the words “Desert Eagle,” “Born Killa,” “69,” “420” or “xX Xx”
117. Use "That’s what she said" three times in one online match
118. Use 1337 speak in a normal conversation
119. Girls: Shop in the little boys department for video-game shirts
120. Guys: Use your girlfriend to try to get discounts
121. Jam out to a video game OST while working out
122. Play through all of the metal gear solids back to back
123. Play and complete Resident Evil 4
124. Play Terrorist Hunt in Rainbow Six Vegas 2
125. Form a party in an MMO, preferably with friends, and in World of Warcraft
126. Be responsible for a wipe in WoW
127. Buy a video-game related soft-drink
128. Team kill once to see what it feels like. Is it out of your system? Good
129. Get into a fight on the forums over something stupid
130. Create your own team in a sports game
131. Try to make a character who looks like you
132. Create a character by moving all of the sliders to the extreme left or right
133. Apply for at least one job in the gaming industry
134. Experience at least 10 blinking-screen moments with the NES
135. Complete the first level of Pac-Man using only one life
136. Join a clan
137. As an adult, buy a game-based toy
138. Find an Easter egg on your own
139. Read the novelization of a game
140. Cringe when you see models in a game ad holding a controller incorrectly
141. Try to turn sharper by turning your controller in a racing game. Wii games don’t count
142. Knock your opponent off the stage in a Smash Bros. game using Mr. Saturn
143. Make up a lie about a game, citing a make-believe relative who “works at Nintendo”
144. Import a game from Japan
145. Build your own gaming PC
146. Convert your significant other into a gamer
147. Start seeing Tony Hawk Pro Skater lines in real life
148. Play E.T. on the Atari 2600 and judge it for yourself
149. Play a game with your family
150. Don’t believe everything you read on the back of the box